Apart from this list of qualities, two points jumped out at me from the video:
For the most part, we are not trained to listen well—we simply take it for granted.
Being listened to well is very pleasurable.
It is easy to see how important listening well is at work and yet it is exactly the place where we are super busy. I know that when I am hurrying, or stressed, my capacity for openness is reduced. I am more likely to want quick answers, clear replies.
Perhaps this is the point where we need an inner alert that warns us that we might not be listening with our full attention. A lot of damage can build up over time when someone does not feel heard.
Here is a simple exercise to try to help you to listen well.
HALT — Halt whatever you are doing and offer your full attention.
ENJOY — Enjoy a breath as you choose to receive whatever is being communicated to you—wanted or unwanted.
ASK — Ask yourself if you really know what they mean and if you don’t, ask for clarification. Instead of making assumptions, bring openness and curiosity to the interaction. You might be surprised at what you discover.
REFLECT — Reflect back to them what you heard. This tells them that you were really listening.
Which of these qualities do you feel is your strongest and which one do you struggle with?